Yesterday on Friday the 15th of February 2008, was a conversation taking place in Amsterdam on Advaita with Tony Parsons.

Going there has been really spontaneous and thought of few days prior while discussing advaita with a friend of mine. The session took place in reformed church, which made the setting somehow strange since i am never going to

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such place. Secondly i was quite surprised to see the kind of people going to this place, the little bit of advaita interested (apparent) individuals have different looks, it was maybe the first lesson of that evening. It was less suprising however to discover some people twisting their legs into yogic postures as if these would help hearing the words better - the latter being just as useless as the former.

The Tony came in, greeted the gathering and silence felt. My girlfriend and i had to crack up in laughter, it was so hilarious and some other people also were infected by this short euphoria. The Tony spoke: there is wholness,  within wholness are beliefs of being separate, with these belief come the ideas of time, space, purpose etc. Then silence fell again and it took some time before questions would eventually be uttered. There were all kind of questions and seemingly there were many to whom the advaita conceptlessness was

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totally new (or completely forgotten) and some faces simply twisted in puzzled powerlessness. Some got very frustrated and attempted a small revolution trying to rally some of the public against Tony (as if it would help at all), before abandoning the gathering. Few people seemed to be atuned to Tony's speech. One lady simply mentioned vastness, another about awaking within the dream with a "eureka" smile on his face.

At some point i laughed again, because i could see an assembly of children to whom was told Santa Claus does not exist and answering: "But what will happen to him now?" "Where will he go?" "Did he hurt?" "Who will bring the presents?" "Why celebrate Xmas then?" "Why should i be a nice kid?"

To things popped up: The first is that belief is causing the handicap and reinforces the ideas of separateness. The second are words, wich carry only concepts and therefore cannot help any individual to understand what cannot be understood - as it is the cause of concept and cannot be witheld into concepts.

Then it was time to leave and i was about to go out when i passed by Tony realising i could as a question: my girlfriend said "just do it". So approaching Tony i told him about Benjamin and how the idea of being an individual ceased 4 years ago and how the clarity of this blured with time. I explained how sometime the obviousness of Being-only was so present that it would overwhlem everything. Sometimes with joy and satisfaction some other time with terrible fear and panic.

He replied that it is a sort of in-between stage, where remains of individuality refuse to die and when the individual dances with death. "Do not give too much importance to concept" he said, taking my hand. I answered: "I know, it's more sensual than anything". Satisfied he gave my hand back with a smile and was caught by another question...